Color The Leaves First

When adult coloring first became a thing, I was beyond skeptical. I mocked it as a waste of time. I had been an avid colorer as a child, but the whole concept of an adult sitting down to color pictures seemed ridiculously lame. Obviously these people who claimed it was relaxing simply had nothing better to do with their time.

Over the past couple of years, my judgmental annoyance of this "new" hobby of adult coloring gave way to acceptance and then finally took the leap into participation.

Yes. I now color pictures. As an adult. And it IS relaxing. I'm notoriously good at being very wrong about things, and this is a perfect example.

My current coloring book is filled with scriptures that have decorative backgrounds. Flowers are a common theme throughout the book.

Something occurred to me the other day as I started a new picture.... I always color the leaves first. I always pick up a green coloring pencil and set to work on the leaves, vines, and branches before even giving much thought to anything else in the picture. Always. More of my attention and time goes to the leaves than the flowers themselves. The flowers are going to end up being pink or blue or purple, but it's not usually that important to me what color I eventually go with. The leaves are what start the picture looking alive to me. Even though they're always green, and there's not much variation you can do with them. They still provide the whole foundation for what the picture will become.

This realization made me think of my life. (Because one thing about coloring...it's relaxing because it gives you time to breathe and think.) I spent years of my life doing the exact opposite. I neglected my leaves because I was too concerned with the flowers.

Flowers are nature's best decoration. They're colorful and bright and beautiful and come in so many varieties. They demand to be seen and admired.

They're like the good things we look for in life, the things we wait for and hope for, the things we think are our destination. If this happens, or if that person loves us, or if we get that job, or if we're finally feeling like we're making a difference in the world...then we can put that on display like an arrangement of flowers and say "Look! I'm finally where I'm supposed to be. Look what God did for me!"

I waited so many years for my life to bloom. I waited anxiously for the day when I'd see something happening that I could point to and say "There! That's what I've been waiting to happen and it's finally here! Now I can live." I wanted flowers of my own. And I became angry when God didn't let any flowers grow.

So I forgot about the leaves.

I didn't realize that growth isn't always something that's seen. It's not always something you can point to. Real growth happens in secret, and it's often undervalued because it's not as fun to talk about. It's harder work and it takes longer. You can't take a picture of it that will look like much to anyone else.

All the things I dreamed of that I thought would make me complete won't matter much if I've not allowed my heart to grow as it should first. If I've not let God do the hard work in me that needs to be done, then nothing will ever feel right. Even if the best thing I ever hoped for had happened, I would not have been able to fully enjoy it because I wasn't ready. If my leaves are not strong and healthy, then no flower that blooms would last long on a dying plant.

I don't want to wait on flowers anymore. I want to tend my leaves and make sure they're growing right. I want to dig deep into my heart and see that it's healing and becoming stronger. I want to know that one day when a flower blooms, my heart will be ready for it because I won't have forced it to bloom before it was time.

I want to color my leaves first. And I want to leave the flowers to God.

❤🌸